AD&D: Good Hits, Bad Misses... and Worse Tables

Back in the early days of The Dragon, before the internet told you how to play, there was a little gem in issue 39 that dared to do what the core rulebooks wouldn’t... give teeth to your dice. “Good Hits and Bad Misses” was a wild ride of critical hits and fumbles that turned your average sword swing into a brutal display of meat and mayhem.

It wasn’t elegant... it wasn’t balanced... but it sure as hell made combat exciting.

You rolled a natural 20? You didn’t just hit. You shattered kneecaps... decapitated goblins... sent bugbears flying off cliffs. Rolled a 1? That sword you spent all your gold on just broke in half while you slipped on goblin guts and faceplanted into the nearest wall.

These tables gave flavor to every hit and miss. You had charts for bladed weapons, blunt weapons, missile weapons, even animals. Each one came with nasty surprises. Drop your weapon... smash your shield... lose your helm... or worse... bite your own tongue mid-swing and pass out from pain. Yeah, that’s in there.

The article even accounts for realism... higher strength and dexterity means you’re more likely to swing harder and miss worse. A strong adventurer doesn’t just fumble... they launch their weapon across the room and give the cleric something else to pray about.

But here’s the best part... these charts made stories. Players still talk about the time the thief shot the ogre in the eye and it exploded like a firecracker... or when the dwarf rolled a fumble and cracked himself in the shin with his warhammer. These moments stick.

So if you’re running classic AD&D and want combat that feels messy, visceral, and full of “oh no” moments... steal this system. Copy those tables... print them... slap them on your screen and get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe cry a little when your fighter’s greatsword shatters on a kobold’s rusty shield.

And for the love of all that’s chaotic good... let the players describe what happens. The more over the top, the better.

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